It has taken two months, countless calories from sugar and chocolate, countless minutes and hours flopped on the couch playing Candy Crush and other such games on the iPad, a few meltdowns complete with tears and anguish, not enough fresh air and exercise, and too much blubber added on to my hips, waist, thighs and arms.
But ...
I did it!
I have jumped over the stile, seen the light at the end of the tunnel, climbed the highest mountain, forded the stream, and have successfully lifted the weight off my shoulders.
Yahoooooo!
This afternoon, I sat myself in front of my laptop and began to type.
What was written was a hypothetical letter to my former husband. Let me explain.
During the one, and only, session with a particular therapist (I later went to see a different lady therapist which proved much more successful), she recommended the following exercise: Write a letter to your (then) husband which will never be sent to him. Write whatever you want, say whatever want, express whatever want. It will be a letter that he will never read. Then, once complete, destroy it. Burn it. Tear it up. Ceremoniously get rid of it. Accomplish some form of closure. Write more than one letter, if necessary. Write as many letters as you wish.
I wrote a letter.
Two other letters have actually been written over the past couple of years. Interestingly enough, each of those two letters took completely different angles. The first was gracious; the second was angry!
Today's letter produced thirteen, yes, 13, pages (single-spaced!).
Man, did it work well. I feel FANTASTIC!
In usual form, it started declaring certain points, then fluidly rolled into other points.
There was even a significant Ah-Ha moment, when everything suddenly took on an entirely different perspective. A perspective, I might add, that had me in the power seat rather than my former husband.
Wow.
What an evolution.
Not an epiphany, but definitely an evolution.
I recognized something...which is what an epiphany seems to represent.
Then it went further.
That recognition then evolved into an entirely new way of seeing the situation and had me changing, forever, how I now look upon my entire raison d'etre regarding my former husband's abusive behaviour.
Mind blowing.
Evolutionary.
And, once again, it has come about in its own way, in its own time, and in its own perspective.
I feel so much better about myself right now (except for those pesky additional pounds).
My back is straighter. My head feels clearer. My motivation has been jump-started.
I also realized, perhaps egotistically, that I have something valuable to share with others. That these various life experiences which I have experienced, have produced a pool of knowledge and insight from which others might be able to relate. Experiences from which others can learn. Experiences from which their own lives can be effected (dare I say, improved or even fulfilled?).
My self-confidence has been greatly strengthened.
I have successfully turned the tables on my abuser, and still stand firmly on my own ground with my head held high.
I'm back.
And can't wait to dive into my manuscript and see what I can produce.
Does anyone know a good book editor out there?!
Happy Thursday, Everyone.
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