#12: Long, Lost Things

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Long Lost Things

I have just written a letter in an attempt to track down the final family items that went wayward many years ago.

Once again, it unexpectedly churns up emotions.

Feelings of sadness with making the circle that much closer to being closed.  Feelings of irritation that so much time has passed since we voluntarily lost track of these items.  Feelings of absolute embarrassment and shame having made others feel so used and inconvenienced.

I am not seeking revenge of any sort but I am feeling inklings of “Take That” creeping to the surface.  I want my family’s things back even if you do not.

Not a terribly lady-like attitude.

Perhaps it is good old-fashioned Christmas Charity kicking in.  I want to correct some of the misdeeds that occurred in past years.  Behaviours that undeniably left others feeling tained and offended.

There are two further missions to pursue which I am not certain I wish to pursue.  Once involves trying to locate my wedding ring.  The other involves contacting an unsavoury sort to track down a very previous hand-carved wedding present.  I continue to think about these two objects.  A very good friend has suggested that I should confront the latter and demand the carving.  I am just not certain if I wish to seek this person out myself.  I do not wish to intentionally cross this person’s path.  I do not like this person.

As for the wedding ring, asking about it would involve others thinking poorly of my “ex” as there would be no way around the ultimate question: “Why ask us?”.  I do not wish to potentially add to any feelings of negativity that others may have regarding my husband.

I have been scanning the internet for ring designs.  I wish to give myself a ring (or stack of rings!) for Christmas.  I actually would like a replacement of my wedding ring for my right hand.  It was such a beautiful ring:  new 14-carat gold designed around diamonds from one of my grandmother’s rings.  Family history.

Wow.  I just made a decision.  I will ask if it has ever been found.

I loved that ring.  It is completely irrational to love an object, but I did love that ring.  I loved the design.  It was so elegant.  We looked around at different jewellery stores together knowing that I would use those particular diamonds.  I found the design I liked.  We went to a friend who then made the design happen; he made both our wedding rings (well, all three wedding rings as we had to replace my husband’s first ring after it slipped off his finger into a Texas river!).  It was both an engagement and wedding ring.  I absolutely was thrilled with that ring … and all it symbolized.

If I can’t have the original back, then I would like to have a similarly-styled ring, perhaps without the diamonds (can’t afford those right now anyway!).

In the meantime, a fun stack of gold and silver rings of various styles, textures and widths will do nicely.

I can’t find out friend the goldsmith on Google.  I may have to locate someone else to make such a ring.  A ring for me.  A ring that will give me back something that I never wanted to give away in the first place.

Yep.  That’s in a nutshell.

Off to a concert tonight with the above-mentioned friend and husband.  The local social scene.  Should be amazing:  Shari Ulrich and The High Bar Gang with Colin James expected to drop by too!

Happy Saturday, Everyone.