#15: What To Be Grateful For

Friday, December 19, 2014

What To Be Grateful For

I don’t know what happened today but I woke up in an absolute slump.  I could feel it coming on yesterday evening.

I have been in a great Christmas-y mood these past couple of weeks.  And then … BAM … gone.

I have been feeling the mounting pressure of money (gee, I don’t know why with Christmas right around the corner), Christmas preparations, Christmas spirit, parenting and emotions thrown in and bounced around dealing with fresh memories exposed last weekend during my friend’s visit.

The past couple of weeks I have noticed myself grinding my teeth.  Usually a sign of stress.

And no, I have not been getting up in the morning and taking myself for a walk/jog.  I think I started the week doing that (Monday morning), and then sleep simply became more important.  Fresh air and exercise should definitely help with that stress level.  

And what do I have to be in a slump about?  I will soon have all three of my “babies” (sorry, the accent that I use to pronounce that word is unavailable with the written word) sleeping together under one roof tonight.  My Christmas Holidays have begun.

But when will I bake?  When will the Christmas cake get iced?  How much time in my 4 ½ days off will be spent in the kitchen?  How much can I budget for the main gifts for the kids?  

Will I be able to pull off a fun Christmas for the kids on my own?

Ah ha!  That’s it.

The pressure of wanting the kids to have an absolutely wonderfully Merry Christmas and doubting that I can give that to them.

That’s it.

Man, the world just got a lot lighter.

And why am I worried about that?  I KNOW that our Christmas will be grand.  I KNOW it will be full of laughter.

But you know what else I am (very silly-ly) feeling?  And this is me being totally and utterly unforgivably materialistic … what if I don’t get any presents under the tree?  From the children?  I have spent countless Christmases feeling under-appreciated and over-worked.  Like so many other women out there.  I have had fun doing it, make no mistake.  I absolutely love gearing up for Christmas.

This year is slightly different however.  With working so much, I guess I hope that the kids will acknowledge what their mother has done for them.  Very, very shallow of me and completely unfair to place such an expectation on their shoulders.

I know they know what I have done for them.  I know that I have had their support all along.

Simple recognition.  Or just a Thank You (which I do hear from time to time).

So I should not be ungrateful.  I have three amazing children (have I told you that before?!).  Three amazing children who I can see and talk with EVERY DAY.  I am the lucky parent in this family.

That is all that I need to be grateful for.

And all I need to remind myself of.

Happy Friday.