How To Tell I Made The Right Decision

Sunday, June 10, 2018

HOW TO TELL I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION

I have been at my new place of employment for over a month now.  Many indicators exist to reinforce that I made the right decision to do what I am currently doing.

To review:  I accepted a job offer, in another part of the province, in an industry in which I have worked for most of my adult life, which came about because of my own initiative.  I now work and live in the Canadian Rockies, outside the lovely little town of Golden, BC, doing what I love doing best (getting people to the river to go rafting!).

How can I tell I am doing the right thing for me?

Here's a list:

1.  The instant I arrived in the Rocky Mountain Trench and saw the town of Golden, surrounded by lines of mountains and bathed in the fresh green hues of spring, I knew I found my new home.  I instantly felt content.

2.  When I first walked down the gravel laneway to check out the riverbase (when no one else was around, which means I was trespassing!), I knew this was going to be the second best office ever to work at (the first best office being my own living room and dining room when running my own outfit years ago in Brackendale).

3.  Driving along Highway 1 through Yoho and Banff National Parks, and seeing those mountains again, I instantly felt as if I was amongst long lost friends.

And not only that, but this:

4.  Yesterday, I put on a pair of hiking pants that have not fit me properly for the past year or so.  Apartment-bound indulgences (i.e.  eating too much and not doing enough physically) had a negative effect on how well my clothes fit me.

Today, those pants fit and even have some room to spare!

The fact that I have lost some weight and trimmed down a bit is testament to living the life that is right for me.

I'm eating less, doing more, looking up and smiling at everything and everyone, have a spring in my step, and generally know in my heart that I am in the place I belong.

It is an amazing feeling.

I have not found a new home ... I have come back home.

I hope you are at home, too.

Happy Sunday, Everyone!

The Other Day, I Saw A Bear ...

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

The Other Day, I Saw A Bear ...

Well actually, I saw two bears the other day!

Sunday was a day off so I hopped in my trustworthy Jeep and went exploring.  The original plan was to head to Lake Louise early in the morning (I seem to be waking up between 5 and 6am these days) and hike up to the Agnes Lake Tea House.  The intention was to get ahead of the weekend crowds at Lake Louise and possibly enjoy the trail to myself.

As I drove towards Lake Louise from the village, a last minute change of mind had me turn left onto Moraine Lake road and drive to that lake instead.  Even with an arrival of 8:00am, there was a small yet bustling crowd beginning to build on the shorelines.  I debated about hiking beyond to Consolation Lakes but opted for a shoreline walk around to the glacial feedwaters of Moraine at the far end.

Moraine Lake used to be firmly displayed on the back of the Canadian $20 bill.  When I worked in Banff back in 1987, and visitors would ask me "Where should we go today?", I would hold up a $20 bill and say "You should go here!".  That is now a thing of the past.  I haven't a clue what image is on the back of the current $20 bill.


I was quite surprised, however, at the variety of trailheads located  at Moraine Lake.  Hikes that are not too crazy in distance either to amazing destinations.  Consolation Lakes are only 2.5km away.  Larch Valley was only 4.5km.  All sorts of interesting places to go without huge hiking distances.  The key will be to be in the Moraine Lake parking lot very, very early in the morning.  Why?  Simply to get a parking spot!  By the time I drove back down the 11km road to the junction with Lake Louise Drive at 10:15am, Moraine Lake access was already barricaded and Parks Canada staff counting precisely the number of vehicles coming out so they would know precisely how many vehicles they could let in at a time.  The lovely young lady I spoke to said people were being quite angry and mean about the whole thing.  We both laughed at the fact that it was only the end of May, she said "I know; I'm scared!".

So after that gong show, I stopped at the Lake Louise Village for a quick snoop around Samson Mall, grabbed a Chai Latte and Deep Dish Brownie (the last one!) from TrailHead Cafe and got myself out there!  For as beautiful as Moraine Lake and Lake Louise are, the masses of people there have tainted it for me.   Beauty definitely is to be found in the more remote and isolated locations.

I headed north on the Icefield Parkway to check out Bow Lake and to get away from the crowds.

This was my reward:

Isn't he (or she) gorgeous?

********

Now for a big leap forward in time!

Tuesday, June 5th.

Well, a few days have passed by and I did not write a thing.  Shame on me.  Oh well.  Here I am back again.

Currently, I sit at the table in our crew kitchen at the riverbase.  I start work in an hour so inspiration is telling me to get back to what I started and fill y'all in (that is, if there are any y'alls out there who need filling in!).

The bear above was observed on a previous day off.  This past weekend, when I had both Saturday and Sunday off, I added more bear observations to my list.  I don't have photos of those bears, three in total, but one was a beautiful silvery grizzly feeding on the fresh grasses and dandelions roadside in Kootenay National Park.  My wildlife count for Sunday was 1 grizzly, 2 black bears, 3 deer, 4 elk, several big horn sheep and lots of Columbia ground squirrels.

I finally saw a grizzly! 

I was told, by a very polite and friendly park warden (who was politely reprimanding me for stopping along Highway 1 within Banff National Park...'cuz you're not supposed to do that!), that as so many bears (both black and griz) feed along an 11km stretch of highway through Kootenay NP, a sign was erected prohibiting any vehicles from stopping.  And because I forgot to fill up my Jeep with gas in Radium (the gong-show tourist town at the western entrance to Kootenay NP), I had to turn around, drive past the griz a second time, fill up with gas, then drive past the same griz a third time in order to continue on my way!   I will be above board however, and only count that as one grizzly sighting!  But it is the first griz sighting of 2018.  That counts as a huge win.

What I have learned, or realized, or appreciated, during these off-work forays, is that I am so amazingly content in this region.  While wondering along a still snow-packed trail into the alpine above Peyto Lake on Sunday, and reaching the bowl below Bow Summit, I shed tears.  I spoke to the mountain top (see below) and asked if it had any idea how important the alpine is to me.  As I've stated before, I am not a hard core mountaineer by any stretch of the imagination.  My comfort place is simply the alpine.  I adore the mountains.  I love the colours, the size, the gargantuan massifs.  I love the tiny little flowers that grow amongst the pebbles in these giant landscapes.  I love the freshness of the air; its clarity and its grace.  In the alpine is where I am THE most content.  It is no wonder such places bring tears to my eyes. 

On a different occasion last week, after work, myself and 2 young lady colleagues drove down the nearby forest service road to find a lookout over a big waterfall.  The thought struck me as I gaped at the beauty of the evening light on the fresh spring growth, that I have been waiting nine years for this contentedness to return to my life (have I written about this already?).  Ever since returning to my family's home town of Squamish in 2009, I have been chomping at the bit to be in a place that truly matters to me.  Again, this is absolutely no reflection upon the amazing people and friendships that I have in Squamish.  I speak only in geographical terms. 

My life needed further fulfilling at that time, and due to commitments at that time (namely, family life!), the need for fulfillment came in other forms (namely, my children).  Now that life has done a 180-degree turn since 2009 (or 2014), fulfillment is now pouring in from all sides.

I am completely and utterly content with my life.

So what if I don't have a bunch of money in my bank account.  So what if I don't have a partner in my life.  Those are things that I do not NEED.  'Nice to have', perhaps, but definitely don't need. 

Fulfillment comes in so many other forms.  And that's where I'm at right now.  I've picked myself up and moved to a part of the province/country/world that means something to me.  I've landed a job back in the industry that means something to me.  I am exploring the mountains that mean something to me.  And, I'm writing about it...which also means something to me!

This also means something to me:  It is a sign that stands at the western entrance to Kootenay National Park.  It is a sign whose message has remained with me since I first saw it back in 1987 (when I worked in Banff for the summer).  It completely describes my sentiments.  It also brought tears to my eyes when I touched it this past Sunday.

The mountains have brought peace to me.  I am so grateful to know just what it is in life that brings peace to me.  I've worked hard to figure it out.  And this sign is proof of the reward.

Happy Tuesday, Everyone.

Simply Beautiful

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL

Yesterday after work, myself and two (younger) colleagues/room mates drove into Yoho National Park to investigate a waterfall.  The photograph above was taken at Wapta Falls.  Yes, the photograph was taken by yours truly.  The photograph was not edited or photo-shopped.  That is Mother Nature in her finest form.

Isn't it splendid?

In case you haven't already guessed, I love the mountains!  And to have such beauty mere minutes away from where I am based for the summer is a dream come true.  Perhaps on my next day off I will have to seek out my favourite sign, photograph it and then write to y'all about it.  It is a sign whose message has stuck with me for over 30 years. 

Happy Wednesday, Everyone.

Yesterday Was My Birthday

Friday, May 18, 2018

Yesterday was my birthday.

Happy Birthday to Me!

It is no big deal to say that I am 53 years old.  After celebrating with a group of new-found friends from work yesterday, all of whom are at least 15 years younger than me, I am not shy about proclaiming my age.  I am quite proud of my age.

I am 53, and I feel fine.

It has been clearly proven over the past few days, as I settle into my new routine at my new workplace, that I have made the right decision.  Every single detail of this new life of mine feels so right.  Transporting myself to a different, yet highly familiar, region in order to take on a new, yet highly familiar, position was definitely the right thing for me to do.  I feel invigorated, refreshed, enthusiastic, optimistic and am solidly in a ‘nothing can go wrong’ frame of mind.    

Isn’t it interesting how, once you remove yourself from a burdensome situation, you realize just how oppressive that situation truly was?  With no offence whatsoever intended for my invaluable Squamish tribe, I now appreciate how much that town was getting me down.  Moving on to a different location (one of my choosing), to take on a new responsibility, was just what I needed.  I have cut the metaphorical umbilical cord to that coastal mountain town.  I now look appreciatively upon the interior mountain town which lies at the confluence of the Kicking Horse and Columbia rivers.  

My new work situation could not be more ideal.  I am in heaven being amongst rafting gear once again!  It has been years since I’ve hauled a rowing frame and hefted a rolled-up raft.  A part of my soul, wrapped up for years with such gear, is now free to soar again.  I love it.  And within 48 hours, I will be back on the river, paddle in hand, ploughing through rapids and getting side-swiped by waves.  Yee haw.  Bring it on!  Some of my younger colleagues have never rafted before.  It is rather fun being the older and more experienced person in the group.

Rather than reporting to a cubicle, and having to sit at a desk for 8 hours per day, my job requirements this week involved transforming a winterized and sleepy compound into a lean, mean, highly organized and ‘ready for fun’ river base.  I have been scrubbing, unpacking, cleaning, stacking, relocating and organizing, none of which required me to sit down!  My feet have been stood upon continuously every working day so far.  It is absolutely divine.  I am not meant to sit at a desk doing nothing else but stare at a screen.  I am meant to move around, contribute and be part of a thriving establishment that prides itself on offering high quality fun.

I have followed my heart.  Such a decision has not disappointed me.  It has reinforced that my decision to shake up my life was the correct decision to make.

I hope you follow your heart, too.  Make your life the best it can be.

I think I’ll walk out my front door and breathe in some fresh morning mountain air.

Happy Friday, everyone.

Happy Mother's Day, To Me!

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Happy Mother's Day, To Me!

I am here.  The official check in took place yesterday afternoon at 4pm.  I met my employers at Wild Water Adventures and got a tour of the river base.  It may be quiet right now, but it will turn into a hive of activity soon enough with enthusiastic rafters, top notch guides and a riverbase crew that will help keep everything ticking over nicely.  I have every confidence that we will all have an absolute blast together this summer.

Apparently my official title is 'Reservations Manager', with the unofficial title of Adventure Mom.  I'll take both, thank you very much.

I can now say without hesitation that I am back in the rafting industry.  The preliminaries are complete (job offered and accepted), and now I am here to actually get to work.  Today is my first work day in goodness knows how long (16 months?).  I've packed a lunch and 3 litres of water 'cuz I haven't a clue how long we will be at the base putting everything together.

Two momentous returns have been made in my life recently.  A return to the rafting industry, and a return to The Rockies.  I have to say that everything feels amazingly right.  Walking through the riverbase yesterday, seeing the gear, was so familiar.  I know this business.  I lived and breathed it and raised my children in it (both before and after their childhood on the ocean).  And the Rockies, just the same as they did back in 1987, welcomed me and made me feel loved.

To top it all off and put the icing on the cake, Golden and the Columbia Valley knocked my socks off!  Yesterday, as I drove through town to do some exploring and grocery shopping, I marvelled at how this small mountain town made me instantly feel comfortable.  I think I will really get to like this place.  The Columbia Valley is massively wide and surrounded by mountain ranges that carry off far into the distance.  I adore the setting.  It is a mountain town, but it is not closed in by the mountains.  There is such a feeling of wide open space. 

Spring is just popping out here (compared to the coast which popped a month ago) and the smell of cottonwood floats in the air.  I love that I can enjoy two springs this year!

Everything feels right.  This mother is very happy and content.

Now to put on my grubby clothes and help get a riverbase unpacked!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.

Aren't we wonderful?!

On The Road

Friday May 4, 2018

I am officially on the road!

The town I lived in for the past nine years, and for a total of 17 years, is now firmly located in my rearview mirror (the town, that is, not the people in that town!).  I broke free, and it feels marvellous.

A few kilometres beyond the townsite, I stopped at a roadside lookout which commanded a spectacular view of the town, valley, river and surrounding mountains.  I collected my phone, travel mug full of tea, and a new journal given to me from a girlfriend, perched myself on a concrete block and looked out, one last time, upon a town that was home for so long.  Needless to say, many tears were shed.

I was actually surprised at the emotion that bubbled up, or rather the depth of emotion that bubbled up.  That I would cry was not unexpected.  I felt the tears building over the past week.  The surprise was in the sobs rising from deep down inside my core.  While my new world took shape these past four years, and a strong foundation was built for my children and myself, I remained geographically stationary.  This step of changing my geographical location is truly the final step in my recovery and reclamation of myself.  I am moving on to somewhere new out of choice, out of emotional necessity, and out of pure desire.  This is what I want for myself.  This is what I need for myself.  Again, it is all about breaking free.  So of course, there were tears.

The end of my marriage came about in three stages:  First, on the day that I physically left my husband (July 18, 2014); second, on the day the divorce was finalized (February 22, 2016); and third, on the day I drove out of Squamish toward my new life (May 2, 2018).  Sitting on that concrete block two days ago, sobbing out loud to those oh so familiar mountains, I said my final good-bye to the man I married back in 1994.  My life has now completely moved away from anything that we shared. No longer will I live in the town where we were newlyweds, raised a family and built a business.   I am venturing out into new territory that only I am exploring.   My companions this time, rather than a husband and children, include a cute, cuddly polar bear (see photo above) and several other small yet highly significant stuffed animals.  With these, I will travel new roads and old roads, see new sights and old sights, and put the final pieces in place for my life.

I am 52 years old, and I feel mighty fine.

One More Sleep

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

ONE MORE SLEEP

Tonight is my last sleep in my own bed, in my own apartment.  At least my last sleep here for a few months.

Tomorrow morning, I load up my loveable Jeep and start driving eastward toward the Canadian Rockies.

The day of departure has finally arrived.

This 52-year old woman (eghads, soon to be 53!) is hitting the open road.

I knew this day would come when the job offer was accepted way back in January.  I have been chomping at the bit for four months to get this show on the road.  My patience, admittedly, has run out.

Tomorrow I will watch as the town in which I have lived for the past nine years disappears in my rearview mirror.  In a blink of an eye, Squamish will fade into the background.  It is time for me to relocate.  I need to dig my heels into new soil, walk new trails, look at new mountains.

I have lived a total of 16 years in this town.  I need someplace new to call home.  The beauty that so many people ooh and aah over here in the Sea To Sky Corridor is mostly lost on me now.  What I need now is simply 'new'. 

Several girlfriends have described my upcoming summer adventure as a retreat of sorts.  Besides upholding the responsibilities of a fulltime job, I will have only time to concentrate on me.  All other typical responsibilities of my life will fade, like the town, in the rearview mirror.  Of course, my children will text and call with questions and updates, but the daily grind of being Mum will not be present. 

I am so looking forward to taking care of just me.  Of having the space to commune only with myself.

I need this adventure, this summer.

It is to be the summer of the 3 R's:  Rivers, Rockies and Writing (ignore the silent 'w', please).

But, for now, right at this moment, it is time to sleep.  I must wake up feeling refreshed, ready and raring to go!

Look out Rockies, I'll be that much closer to you this time tomorrow.

Happy May 1st, everyone.