SEE YA LATER, 2019
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Once again, the year has rolled on and, as usual, it is time to reflect and reminisce on what has happened, what has been experienced and what has been learnt. It is also time to think ahead to what is desired for the future: What is to be accomplished, discovered, felt and seen.
Somehow, 12 months passed with nary a hiccup. Not to say there weren't hiccups, or thought disruptors swirling through my mind. I am human so, sooner or later, something in life was bound to crop up bringing with it increased stress and anxiety. No hospitalization was required, no broken bones needed mending. Emotional stress can be just as harmful as physical stress. Compared to prior years, however, the load this year was fairly easily managed.
2019 actually began with me writing; something I did little of in the latter half of the year. After receiving a nod from a publisher back in 2018, I took myself to a quiet little cabin for the month of April to try and crank out some chapters. Several large, rubber bins accompanied me: bins that contained notebooks, index cards, books on memoir writing, other people's memoirs, and a stock-pile of family photographs to get me right back into the moment. After 4 weeks in the Blaeberry Valley (I could move there in an instant!), some emotional walls were knocked down, others put up, and three chapters were written.
With the memoir, I always figured it would be a piece of cake to write about the 'good stuff'. There was so much of it. By comparison, the 'bad stuff' would call for much more courage and fortitude. Turns out the exact opposite was true. I had (and still have) no problem writing about the darker sides of my marriage. When it came to the happy and love-filled side, however, the mind emptied. I was completely incapable of taking myself back in time to the first five years of my marriage (when all was blissful and newlywed-ish). I told myself to just keep trying. After two weeks, I finally gave up.
It was then that I realized that even though a memoir will be read in chronological order, it doesn't mean that it has to be written in chronological order! In other words, I gave myself permission to jump ahead onto the next big section of life: sailing.
I have lived a total of 11 years on the ocean, on three different sailboats. I figured the memoir would likely have two chapters covering sailing. After describing the first two weeks of an 11-year span, the sheer amount of information hit like a tsunami. Crashing on top of me was the realization that there was so much to describe. Again, I came to a grinding halt. How can I possibly write all of this? Instead of not knowing what to write (or how to write it), I became overwhelmed with the sheer quantities of useable material. Decisions had to be made as to what to include, and what not include. I simply wasn't in the frame of mind to pick and choose. By this time, my month in the cabin was over and it was time to pack up and move onto the RiverBase for the next 5 months.
Saved by work, not a single word was written between May and October. It took the first meeting of my writing group since March to actually get me to produce something. And produce something, I did! Going with inspiration and mood, I typed out a pivotal scene between my ex and I. The ladies in my writing group loved it and spurred me on to get back it.
At about the same time, I heard back from a local online literary magazine, Sea To Sky Review. Much to my surprise, and excitement, an email was sent saying they'd like to publish (yes ... PUBLISH!) my submitted piece of prose. The theme for this particular quarterly edition was dangerous seas. A girlfriend, and writing group member, urged me to enter. "If anyone can write about dangerous seas, it's you!". At the very last minute, my piece titled Stormy Waters was sent in. What the heck? Got nothin' to lose!
My biggest accomplishment in 2019 is that I can now claim to be a published author. Yahoo!
While chatting with a girlfriend last night, the topic of intentions arose. When she inquired into mine, an off-the cuff answer came flying out. "I know what I have to do, it's just a matter of doing it. I know I have to eat better, move more and write. Once I cover these basics, everything else will fall into place."
So, for 2020 I'm keeping it simple. I plan to work hard to stay focused on these simple things so that my life is that much better. Rather than grumbling about my blubber, or my creeky joints, or my lack of chapters, I simply have to admit that without dedicated work, none of these things will get accomplished. I won't get into better shape without watching what I eat and exercising more. I won't get a book written if I don't write! It's pretty simple, isn't it?
My focus will be put into daily, and minute-by-minute, checks to make sure I'm doing what's right for me in the long run. I've never been a great planner, so maybe it's time to think on a more extended span of time. One step in front of the other ... and I'll get there. I just have to keep taking steps!
I hope you keep taking one step after another, too. Walk straight into 2020, and don't stop.
Happy New Year.