Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, October 8, 2018

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Recently I have tossed around various thoughts about the past few months, the past few years, and the months and years that lie ahead.  Foremost in those thoughts is the question:  What the heck am I going to do with myself?  A question, no doubt, that just about everyone asks him/herself on a fairly frequent basis.

As y'all know, I spent the past five months working in the Rockies (more about that later).  I returned home to Squamish a couple of weeks ago with that nagging question bouncing around in my mind.  What am I going to do now?  What am I going to do now?

Financial security is one aspect of my life that is rather consuming.  I'm 53 years old with lots of life experience, but have no career or profession to help feed my bank account.  Yes, I have a business degree.  Yes, I created a job for myself with a white water rafting outfit; a job that will carry on through the winter and back into next season (yay!).  After that, who knows?  I have lived the past couple of years on a very tight budget, and I fully admit that I'm tired of living that way.  But (and here comes the self-doubt), what do I have in my arsenal of employable skills that will appeal to a potential employer?  Add in my age and it's no surprise that few respond to my application submissions. 

I'm feeling a tad bit lost.  Can you tell?

When friends are talking about retirement, all I can think is 'Ha! Retirement?'  I don't see that word in my future.  I had the good fortunate of enjoying my first retirement back in 2001 when my family went sailing for seven years.  Goodness only knows when, or even if, there will be a second retirement later in life.

There are some ideas floating around, and possibilities out there that have recently appeared.  It is such opportunities that, I truly feel, will help lead me down the path of financial fulfillment.  I simply must trust my abilities, experience, insight and instinct in doing what is right for me.

With that notion, complete with renewed vim and vigour and self-awareness, I will get back to my task at hand:  preparing for the Whistler Writers Festival.  I will be face-to-face with three publishers later this week.  Pitch, pitch, pitch, until I can pitch no more!  My financial security, perhaps (hopefully), lies within the manuscript currently under revision.

Here's hoping you, too, are full of vim, vigour and self-awareness.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Hiking, As I Like Hiking

Friday, August 3, 2018

HIKING, AS I LIKE HIKING

Yesterday, on an unusal Thursday off from work, I went for a hike with a new friend.  We had casually chatted on the banks of the Columbia River earlier this spring about birds and hiking.   We both thought it would be nice to go for a hike together at some point.

Not only did I have the day off when she contacted me, but the destination was also one that I was considering for that day anyway!  The stars alligned, or something like that, for a great day in the alpine chatting and laughing away with a lady I knew nothing about 36 hours ago.

I have always enjoyed natural history, and learning names and stories of the the flowers, trees, birds and geological features when wandering in the outdoors.  This lady was a cornacopia of wildflower and bird knowledge.  What a treat!

We sauntered the alpine casually moving from one wildflower to another, looking at the leaves and petals, and breathing in the fresh scent that accompanied some of the blossoms.  Bog orchids smell fantastic, by the way! 

We struck out on the trail at 9:30 in the morning.  27 kilometers, and 9.5 hours later, we returned to our respective vehicles.  What a fabulous day.

And, as always in the alpine, there is so much more to explore:  The mountain pass off to the left looked very intriguing ...

Happy Friday, Everyone from a happy leg-and-foot-weary hiker.

The Sun Shines Again Today

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

THE SUN SHINES AGAIN TODAY

Well, after yesterday's rather morose rambling, I'm pleased to state that my world feels a lot more solid today.

After lengthy telephone conversations with different girlfriends, and the shedding of a small bucketload (small, I said!) of tears, my head seems to back to its proper place.

A consistent comment I hear from girlfriends, near and far, is that my children are so well grounded because of me, their mother.  I cannot say for certain why, but I have always doubted just how effective a mother I have been.  These past four years are the exception to that.  I know precisely just how effective a mother I've been since July 18, 2014.  It is the years before that cause me pause.

Every now and then though, I do manage to realize and acknowledge what I offered to my children over the years as they grew from newborns to full-blown adult:  I did offer stability and security; that I was a good role model for them.  It doesn't happen on a regular basis, mind you.  But sometimes a glimmer of self-confidence shines forth on this particular topic.  I have no problem acknowledging all sorts of other strengths, but this one is a bit more challenging.

My children have been completely unaware of my minor meltdown.  It was to my girlfriends I turned to help get past this most recent emotional blip.  I am very lucky to have such options available at my fingertips (thanks to cellular coast-to-coast service!).

When such emotions bubble to the service, are talked about and dealt with appropriately, I realize and acknowledge what else I have to offer:  My own insights and spin on the world based upon the life I have lived so far.   I do believe that I have worthwhile words to share with you, and others, out there in this great big beautiful wide world.

So, with that, I close this off and return to my memoir manuscript with renewed vigor.  The fates, perhaps, were trying to tell me something in a not-so-subtle way.

Happy Tuesday, Everyone (and Happy Last Day of July...eek!).

Haunted

Monday, July 30, 2018

HAUNTED

Yesterday, while sitting in my camp chair next to my tent, I finished the book "Tell It To The Trees", by Anita Rau Badami.

When I first saw the book on a thrift store shelf several months ago, the title immediately caught my attention.  One of my favourite sayings, along with 'Smile and Wave', is 'Take it to the forest, because the forest can take it'.  After all, many a time over the past four years, I took myself to the forest so that deep-rooted anguish could be released to the trees.  Standing in the thrift store that day, I could not ignore the possible common thread between book title and personal motto.

It took me a while to get into the book.  Not because of the writing, but because of the subject matter:  It struck much too close to home.  It is a story of a family, isolated in a small northern BC town, who are subjected to emotional and physical turmoil.

After the first couple of chapters were read, I put the book down and had great difficulty returning to it.  While camping on my own this weekend, I finally finished it.  A reader's guilt, perhaps, for not wanting to let a book go unfinished.

The ghosts that have haunted me these past several days because of this book have brought me to tears and emotional meltdown.  Thank goodness I was on my own.  Thoughts and theories and reactions that I (thought I had) laid to rest six months ago have burst back to the surface.  And it is not so much my well being that is the focus of this unrest.  It is the well being of the three other individuals in my life that has me in turmoil.

I know my own experiences, my own stories and my own scars inside and out.  I know from what wounds I have healed.  It is the unknown and uncertainty of scars belonging to others that weakens me right now.

Every indication exists that scars, if any exist at all, have successfully healed over.  Three sets of feet stand firmly upon a strong foundation of emotional balance and realistic perspective.  Level heads and confident personalities give a mother the proof that everything within is AOK.  Yet a mother must always be on the lookout for cracks appearing in that foundation.  I do not wish for cracks, but vigilance is required to ensure if cracks appear they do not tear the foundation apart.

It is Monday morning.  After two nights of sleep in a tent, and hiking on my own in the alpine, I feel refreshed and exhausted at the same time.  Refreshed from the mountains; exhausted from emotions.

I think perhaps I need to write a letter to the author, explaining, without malice, that one person's fiction can be another person's life.

A walk in the forest after work this evening will do me good.

Happy Monday, Everyone.

How To Tell I Made The Right Decision

Sunday, June 10, 2018

HOW TO TELL I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION

I have been at my new place of employment for over a month now.  Many indicators exist to reinforce that I made the right decision to do what I am currently doing.

To review:  I accepted a job offer, in another part of the province, in an industry in which I have worked for most of my adult life, which came about because of my own initiative.  I now work and live in the Canadian Rockies, outside the lovely little town of Golden, BC, doing what I love doing best (getting people to the river to go rafting!).

How can I tell I am doing the right thing for me?

Here's a list:

1.  The instant I arrived in the Rocky Mountain Trench and saw the town of Golden, surrounded by lines of mountains and bathed in the fresh green hues of spring, I knew I found my new home.  I instantly felt content.

2.  When I first walked down the gravel laneway to check out the riverbase (when no one else was around, which means I was trespassing!), I knew this was going to be the second best office ever to work at (the first best office being my own living room and dining room when running my own outfit years ago in Brackendale).

3.  Driving along Highway 1 through Yoho and Banff National Parks, and seeing those mountains again, I instantly felt as if I was amongst long lost friends.

And not only that, but this:

4.  Yesterday, I put on a pair of hiking pants that have not fit me properly for the past year or so.  Apartment-bound indulgences (i.e.  eating too much and not doing enough physically) had a negative effect on how well my clothes fit me.

Today, those pants fit and even have some room to spare!

The fact that I have lost some weight and trimmed down a bit is testament to living the life that is right for me.

I'm eating less, doing more, looking up and smiling at everything and everyone, have a spring in my step, and generally know in my heart that I am in the place I belong.

It is an amazing feeling.

I have not found a new home ... I have come back home.

I hope you are at home, too.

Happy Sunday, Everyone!

The Other Day, I Saw A Bear ...

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

The Other Day, I Saw A Bear ...

Well actually, I saw two bears the other day!

Sunday was a day off so I hopped in my trustworthy Jeep and went exploring.  The original plan was to head to Lake Louise early in the morning (I seem to be waking up between 5 and 6am these days) and hike up to the Agnes Lake Tea House.  The intention was to get ahead of the weekend crowds at Lake Louise and possibly enjoy the trail to myself.

As I drove towards Lake Louise from the village, a last minute change of mind had me turn left onto Moraine Lake road and drive to that lake instead.  Even with an arrival of 8:00am, there was a small yet bustling crowd beginning to build on the shorelines.  I debated about hiking beyond to Consolation Lakes but opted for a shoreline walk around to the glacial feedwaters of Moraine at the far end.

Moraine Lake used to be firmly displayed on the back of the Canadian $20 bill.  When I worked in Banff back in 1987, and visitors would ask me "Where should we go today?", I would hold up a $20 bill and say "You should go here!".  That is now a thing of the past.  I haven't a clue what image is on the back of the current $20 bill.


I was quite surprised, however, at the variety of trailheads located  at Moraine Lake.  Hikes that are not too crazy in distance either to amazing destinations.  Consolation Lakes are only 2.5km away.  Larch Valley was only 4.5km.  All sorts of interesting places to go without huge hiking distances.  The key will be to be in the Moraine Lake parking lot very, very early in the morning.  Why?  Simply to get a parking spot!  By the time I drove back down the 11km road to the junction with Lake Louise Drive at 10:15am, Moraine Lake access was already barricaded and Parks Canada staff counting precisely the number of vehicles coming out so they would know precisely how many vehicles they could let in at a time.  The lovely young lady I spoke to said people were being quite angry and mean about the whole thing.  We both laughed at the fact that it was only the end of May, she said "I know; I'm scared!".

So after that gong show, I stopped at the Lake Louise Village for a quick snoop around Samson Mall, grabbed a Chai Latte and Deep Dish Brownie (the last one!) from TrailHead Cafe and got myself out there!  For as beautiful as Moraine Lake and Lake Louise are, the masses of people there have tainted it for me.   Beauty definitely is to be found in the more remote and isolated locations.

I headed north on the Icefield Parkway to check out Bow Lake and to get away from the crowds.

This was my reward:

Isn't he (or she) gorgeous?

********

Now for a big leap forward in time!

Tuesday, June 5th.

Well, a few days have passed by and I did not write a thing.  Shame on me.  Oh well.  Here I am back again.

Currently, I sit at the table in our crew kitchen at the riverbase.  I start work in an hour so inspiration is telling me to get back to what I started and fill y'all in (that is, if there are any y'alls out there who need filling in!).

The bear above was observed on a previous day off.  This past weekend, when I had both Saturday and Sunday off, I added more bear observations to my list.  I don't have photos of those bears, three in total, but one was a beautiful silvery grizzly feeding on the fresh grasses and dandelions roadside in Kootenay National Park.  My wildlife count for Sunday was 1 grizzly, 2 black bears, 3 deer, 4 elk, several big horn sheep and lots of Columbia ground squirrels.

I finally saw a grizzly! 

I was told, by a very polite and friendly park warden (who was politely reprimanding me for stopping along Highway 1 within Banff National Park...'cuz you're not supposed to do that!), that as so many bears (both black and griz) feed along an 11km stretch of highway through Kootenay NP, a sign was erected prohibiting any vehicles from stopping.  And because I forgot to fill up my Jeep with gas in Radium (the gong-show tourist town at the western entrance to Kootenay NP), I had to turn around, drive past the griz a second time, fill up with gas, then drive past the same griz a third time in order to continue on my way!   I will be above board however, and only count that as one grizzly sighting!  But it is the first griz sighting of 2018.  That counts as a huge win.

What I have learned, or realized, or appreciated, during these off-work forays, is that I am so amazingly content in this region.  While wondering along a still snow-packed trail into the alpine above Peyto Lake on Sunday, and reaching the bowl below Bow Summit, I shed tears.  I spoke to the mountain top (see below) and asked if it had any idea how important the alpine is to me.  As I've stated before, I am not a hard core mountaineer by any stretch of the imagination.  My comfort place is simply the alpine.  I adore the mountains.  I love the colours, the size, the gargantuan massifs.  I love the tiny little flowers that grow amongst the pebbles in these giant landscapes.  I love the freshness of the air; its clarity and its grace.  In the alpine is where I am THE most content.  It is no wonder such places bring tears to my eyes. 

On a different occasion last week, after work, myself and 2 young lady colleagues drove down the nearby forest service road to find a lookout over a big waterfall.  The thought struck me as I gaped at the beauty of the evening light on the fresh spring growth, that I have been waiting nine years for this contentedness to return to my life (have I written about this already?).  Ever since returning to my family's home town of Squamish in 2009, I have been chomping at the bit to be in a place that truly matters to me.  Again, this is absolutely no reflection upon the amazing people and friendships that I have in Squamish.  I speak only in geographical terms. 

My life needed further fulfilling at that time, and due to commitments at that time (namely, family life!), the need for fulfillment came in other forms (namely, my children).  Now that life has done a 180-degree turn since 2009 (or 2014), fulfillment is now pouring in from all sides.

I am completely and utterly content with my life.

So what if I don't have a bunch of money in my bank account.  So what if I don't have a partner in my life.  Those are things that I do not NEED.  'Nice to have', perhaps, but definitely don't need. 

Fulfillment comes in so many other forms.  And that's where I'm at right now.  I've picked myself up and moved to a part of the province/country/world that means something to me.  I've landed a job back in the industry that means something to me.  I am exploring the mountains that mean something to me.  And, I'm writing about it...which also means something to me!

This also means something to me:  It is a sign that stands at the western entrance to Kootenay National Park.  It is a sign whose message has remained with me since I first saw it back in 1987 (when I worked in Banff for the summer).  It completely describes my sentiments.  It also brought tears to my eyes when I touched it this past Sunday.

The mountains have brought peace to me.  I am so grateful to know just what it is in life that brings peace to me.  I've worked hard to figure it out.  And this sign is proof of the reward.

Happy Tuesday, Everyone.

Simply Beautiful

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL

Yesterday after work, myself and two (younger) colleagues/room mates drove into Yoho National Park to investigate a waterfall.  The photograph above was taken at Wapta Falls.  Yes, the photograph was taken by yours truly.  The photograph was not edited or photo-shopped.  That is Mother Nature in her finest form.

Isn't it splendid?

In case you haven't already guessed, I love the mountains!  And to have such beauty mere minutes away from where I am based for the summer is a dream come true.  Perhaps on my next day off I will have to seek out my favourite sign, photograph it and then write to y'all about it.  It is a sign whose message has stuck with me for over 30 years. 

Happy Wednesday, Everyone.